We got engaged on July 16, 2013, after almost two months of keeping a little "secret" from my Mary. That morning I woke up, made Mary breakfast, and went to German class. Afterwards, I rushed up to her place of work to drop off a little surprise while she was at lunch. I left a set of rhyming directions and a hand-drawn map that would take her to a secret location, all made to look older with some coffee staining! (I was pretty proud of myself.)

After dropping these things off I went home to prep some things for a late picnic/outdoor concert with our friends Jason and Chris. By the time 5:00 p.m. rolled around and Mary was almost done with her work day (with butterflies really fluttering in my stomach!) I gathered up some roses, all of the items for the picnic, and of course “the secret.”

Mary arrived at the location around 5:45, and we chatted for a few minutes before I could tell she was getting anxious. So I explained who had known about the secret, and she was still befuddled. So I went over the part about a certain jeweler who had been described a few days earlier in connection to my Dad–she was still confused, but now at least knew that it involved jewelry. As I finished my explanation I said to Mary, "You have been so worried about what is going to happen when we are apart for the next eleven months. But I haven't been as worried because I've known for some time now that I was going to be able to give you this." And with ninja-like stealth I knocked a cloth on the ground, grabbed the "secret", dropped down on one knee, and proposed.

The ring was my great-grandma Bertha’s, my maternal grandfather’s mother. Mary was SO surprised. “Are you serious!?” and a lot of smiling and head shaking is what I got first. . .but then she said yes and put on the ring. What you should know about this moment was 1) we were both very sweaty–it was the hottest day of the year at that point, and 2) I was terribly nervous. 1,000 different things could have tipped her off to the nature of the secret, but thank God she didn’t find out. Beyond the desire for surprise, I was worried that my time abroad would deter Mary from accepting my proposal. But Mary is a very picky person. She knows what she likes and who she likes, and I should have guessed that if she had been willing to wait for me without a ring (she was), she surely would be willing to wait with one!

For roughly two months I kept a clever woman grasping at smoke and mirrors. Its a terribly difficult task, but, as is the case with all worthwhile endeavors, worth doing the right way–or at least a way which will be memorable for years to come. 

Ceci n’est pas une bague, c’est mon coeur.